Claire V. Bogdanos

I’ve lately learned to live within the prison of my mind

That bars an entrance to some foolish pleasures I may find.

Here functions stalwart guardian deflecting thoughts intense

Erecting varied walls that strive to work for my defense,

Like a thousand rolling caissons exploding on a hill

Destroying all the silence that blankets my calm and still,

( Thunder shouting with an angry roar, one horrendous sight

Enlarging on the flimsy grasp of my tenacious plight.)

And now I do begin to understand that within me

Abides a force beyond control that shapes my destiny.

Where I have been before, that I remember clearly now

Vague and familiar paths that I have trod with time endowed,

While waning aspirations in discretion plainly sealed,

With wanting knew defeat but in forgetting, rapid healed?

I’ve sped to numerous places and never more alone

Than when I covered all those miles that had persistent grown

For man’s not free as a bird whose wings and heart do follow

The jaded pattern of the past like consistent swallow,

A humble place that rested within sight of waking eye

To leave no lasting memory when only passing by.

However haunting be the thought that we’ve already seen

The best and worst life offers us with simple space  between,

The aging heart knows sorrow that dwells with repetition

Harboring unruly thoughts that border on sedition.

The push and the pull of necessity which pursues me

And fills the trembling hours with boundless days that restless be

To wonder if some reason can be found ere I depart

Or  am I forced to exist with never another start?

This lonely hope, once awakened, here cradles discontent

Of years and times that shallow youth, with wasted aim misspent.

I comprehend that life drones on though all excitement’s flown

And wallows in contentments small that from resentment’s grown.

Perhaps then ‘tis wiser rejecting goals that reach too high,

Discarding dreams still searching for a rainbow in each sky,

The result of aging, which begins with maturity

Is a final wisdom that concludes in obscurity.