Claire V. Bogdanos

Acceptance,Knowledge,Love,New Chapter,Process,Wisdom,

HYPOCRISY ( 2013 ) 2013/06/13

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 8:47 pm
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I used to be married to this person I know

I must say that it was such a long time ago.

Perhaps had been better if a stranger were he

Unless one of us moves seems I’ll never be free

We live in this small town that’s only one mile square

If I shop in a store you can bet he’ll be there.

It has been forty long years since we shared a home

Much nicer this way as we are each on our own.

 

And now we are friends and can casually chat

About family and such, about this and that.

It’s been a long road the healing did not come quick

Looks like fate had a laugh and has played us a trick.

So here we are approaching the end of the trail

With our egos intact and a marriage that failed !

 

 

DATELINE: Hoboken, NJ, USA “FEET OF CLAY” (2013)

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 11:34 am
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Have you heard of an English poet named William Ernest Henley?  I was 15 when I was introduced to his “Invictus” in Miss Lorena E. Fry’s English Class in high school.  Now that was a very long time ago,  it was the era of World War II,  or as many of today’s collegians say,  “W.W. Eleven” ( you know I’m speaking the truth ).  I thought of Henley as totally in control , evinced by his most powerful poetic conclusion as follows:

  It matters not how strait the gate ,

  How charged with punishments the scroll ,

  I am the master of my fate :

  I am the captain of my soul.

Wow !  I’ve quoted that composition for close to 70 years,  actually it became my personal mantra.  Ask my children, they’ve heard it enough I’m sure, and one of them can recite it by rote!  Imagine that through these years of adulation.  I was made aware that this multi-talented genius possessed  “feet of clay”  and is believed to have ended his  own life !  That shines a new light on his words and causes me to revisit his works with a different perspective, a deeper meaning.  Will you join me?  Or accept it for what it is, his heroic creed!

Sincerely,

Claire B.

 

GETTING OLD ( 2013 ) 2013/06/11

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 11:31 pm
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As I scurry about my daily plan

Rapidly rushing as fast as I can

A miraculous thing for one so old

It’s a job to warm my bones in the cold.

And if you don’t think that’s a chore itself

With a grunt and a groan, reach for a shelf

When your body’s progressed to this late stage

Folks give you a seat because of your age.

 

I laugh when I think that’s where I am at

I recall the days when men tipped their hat

Now they raise their hand ’til you cross the way

And wish you a greeting, ” Have a safe day ! ”

Whoever thought that I’d wind up like this

Just an old lady surviving with bliss?

 

DATELINE : Hoboken, NJ, USA ” MAGIC WORDS ” ( 2013 ) 2013/06/10

Filed under: MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 12:24 am
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Do I have your attention?  Oh good, because today I’d like to introduce you to 5  ” magic words “, the keys to the kingdom.  I promised my children that these words, used properly,  would guarantee them success in life,  not in terms financial,  but in terms of peace and joy,commodities in short supply .  These words are:  ” PLEASE “, ” THANK YOU “,  ” SORRY”,” MA’AM “, and ” SIR ”  ( as in ” no ma’am”  or  ” yes sir ” ). ” Please ” and ” Thank you ” stand on their own merits and need no instructions !  However my family had difficulty accepting the responsibility of  ” Sorry “, does this sound familiar?  “Why?” you ask. ” Sorry ” does not signify your guilt. It simply reinforces your concern for others.  You should be sorry when you observe someone in stress or pain,  don’t you agree ? Therefore,   this word connotes genuine empathy in a world which appears to have lost its ” humanity “! If I do not agree with you on an issue,   I apologize and doesn’t that help you to experience less antagonism?    Now as regards the use of ” Ma’am ” and ” Sir “,   these words are a show of respect, another disappearing ” nuance ” of our fading society  ( with the exception of the military ). Structure plays a larger role in achieving personal success in as much as it utilizes our best qualities when necessary and these words form a part of that ! They indicate that we do care and will make an effort to listen with respect.   Am I mistaken?

 

Sincerely,

Claire B.

 

ANGER ( 1981 ) 2013/06/09


I stand upon some mountain’s peak

To gather words with which I’ll speak,

Inform the world that I have learned

What wisdom bought and patience earned.

Too oft I’ve seen and much too late

That human love is laced with hate

And chiding words while meaning well

Through futile waste and time dispel

An arrow that lays deeply bound

Into the breast that it has found.

And so it is that as I strayed

I heard the ache of those who preyed,

I saw the grief of those who need

Much loving care and special heed.

 

I turned away and tip-toed passed

My pulse beat loud, my breath came fast

I bowed my head with hidden shame

And damned the cause for which I came

Such weariness within my soul

One endless search for self-control.

Am I not bold to travel on

To seek this myth of Avalon?

 

IN MEMORY OF ( 2013 ) 2013/05/28

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 8:09 pm
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The life I knew that now has flown

Into the clutch of bleak unknown

And left me here to query why

All that I loved did bid goodbye

Without a nod or brief farewell

To ease the pain wherein I dwell.

Thus force my heart to comprehend

I can’t control each journey’s end

Although convinced I thought I could

I realized I never would.

 

CONTINUITY ( 1970 ) 2013/05/26

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 2:34 pm
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Oh, still and peaceful starlit night,

With not a whispered breeze in sight,

Those rustic arms that reach too bare,

Oblique, into the sky now stare,

And seeming wait, for some small gift

Falling from space and earthward drift.

 

Now stark and graceless awkward tree

Like autumn wind reminding me

Years fall one upon another,

Swiftly reason to discover,

These arms that long to grasp and lift

Embrace the wind cast time adrift.

 

Thus ageless trees with patience stand

Their vast retinue in command,

Through darkest night or brightest morn,

This faceless wonder earth adorn.

 

DATELINE: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA” HOBOKENITES ” ( 2013 ) 2013/05/21

Filed under: MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 2:23 pm
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Did you know that besides Frank Sinatra, Hoboken was home to Stephen Foster AND Edgar Allan Poe?  Lillian Russell was married here in the 1800’s, and my family arrived from Germany in 1846.  My grandpa George Eugene Sipple played for the Knickerbocker baseball team.  Remember this town is only one mile square!  Can you imagine?  So much history!

Sincerely,

Claire B.

 

DATELINE : Hoboken, New Jersey, USA ” HERO ” ( 2013 )

Filed under: MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 1:16 am
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Am I correct in believing that Brokaw called my era the “ Greatest Generation” ?  ( My mother bought me that book.)  I spent more than 76 years of my life in “ incredibly “ close proximity to my mom, she was my “hero” !  I miss her everyday and live by the simple rules she valued.  In German it was : Kirche, Kinder, Kochin, “loosely”  translated into … God, family, duty !  Not a bad goal.

Sincerely,

Claire B.

 

SUNDOWN ( 1949 ) 2013/05/18

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 1:27 pm
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The tide has gone, how cool the night

It’s ebb has passed, now dims the light

Drift wood alone remains for me

The single task which must now be

To build again this life to share

With splintered fragments of repair.

Lost memories like shattered dreams

Fill water into running streams

Receding tides, crumbling castles

Consuming waves leave only ashes. 

 

HOLLOW ( 1949 ) 2013/05/17

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 10:56 pm
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A star has brushed my heart

and left it maime

A wind rushed past my ear

 whis’pring you name.

 

IDENTITY ( 1998 ) 2013/05/06

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 8:34 pm
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I am an empty seashell that waits beside the sea

To catch each impatient wave that washes over me,

Within the deeper crevice which is my inner part

There swells all the emptiness that drowns a heavy heart.

I am a frigid winter that never sees the  sun

Yet dreams to hold one sunbeam before its light is done.

I am a hollow nighttime wind crying out aloud

Embracing every vacant space stretching wide and proud,

Sheltering a burden while seeking that final cave

To echo trust and recapture all the love I gave.

 

I am deserted memory living in the past

Wherein all wind and waves and snow are forgotten fast.

I am a lonely stranger, timid, pale and lost, how sad,

Who for the sake of liberty committed all I had.

 

CYCLE ( 1965 ) 2013/05/05

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 1:56 pm
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Yesterday, a leaf fell from my favorite tree,

In silence, all alone, I watched it slip and slide,

Turning somersaults, drifting, so melodically,

Graceful, with nought other passage than downward glide.

For one fleet second, thoughts of revolution grew

And cast themselves across the windows of my mind,

Where fragments of one’s journey weigh for times,untrue,

Inciting spasms of questing doubt, life doth blind.

 

We are, each soul of us, mediocre in our way,

Endowed with talents born long ago, yesterday.

Skills that we erringly believe to be unique

Consume other needs, while that special praise we seek.

Observed through private mirrors which the mind collects.

And colored by the ego that our pride reflects,

Images, much gilded by vision clouded, seen,

And silvered by the hope that we are as we dream.

Mankind, foolish, now wanting, thinking what will be,

Wastes his days midst effort veiled by futility.

That cycle, which in youth, had its first beginning,

Will end in age, with neither losing or winning.

 

NOTHING IS FOREVER ( 1963 )

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 12:58 am
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Look up, look up, into the misting sky

And wistful, dreaming of the years gone by

For truth, and seeming as they never were

Provoking thoughts that heart and mind concur.

In life not even flowers linger long

And to the wind both stem and leaf belong

While bird and nest, too soon part company,

And thus with many leave only memory.

Unholy din to clamor in this sphere

Mark man and beast with recollection clear,

Like bookmarks in a span of life concern

Within orb, lasting memory discern.

Dusting shelves laden with rejected dreams,

A thankless task wasted as it now seems

That memory which has been tucked away

Till such a time perhaps as is this day.

Like one’s closed book of golden memory

Which only grasps the edge of destiny,

So thumb again the pages stained and worn,

Oft empty sheets both tired and torn.

A little knowledge with self-reflected view

Consuming hopes, for time that rings untrue,

Reason spurn Herculean endeavor

In assuming nothing lasts forever.

Leave wanting for the final recompense

And wishful hoping as the last defense,

At best that memory, if so inclined

Will flicker once or twice, across the mind.

 

WEAK VICTORY ( 1974 ) 2013/05/01

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 1:49 pm
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Why did you take my dreams and brush them all away,

Like scattered ashes of some forgotten yesterday,

Blown with the biting dust of winds that swiftly glide,

Just drifters on life’s road, unwanted, cast aside?

I’ll mend the twisted fragments that have not been lost,

Time will veil some pieces and never count the cost,

A feckless sort of action, yet task worth knowing,

By simply standing tall, find endurance growing.

Wisdom laced with caution that loneliness will marry,

Gull’s nest on seaweed, though set adrift, may tarry,

A titmouse, in the thornbush, emerges, wings intact,

While dreams that died of neglect, often seem abstract.

 

CONTEMPLATION ( 2003 ) 2013/04/27

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 5:35 pm
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In all the obligation that one’s duty brings

Exists some meager wish that sighs and hopes and clings,

There weigh the loss which from the smallest niche inside

Abides with desperation soundly hid by pride.

Still dwells the waning hope that chance yet rages bold

Though wintered in the ort that’s left of growing old.

In manner chaste I find my quiet hours are sown

Within the palest veil of all I’ve ever known

Where image of the past that with distress was wrought

Some untamed soul within the net lies careless caught.

 

Since unshed tears oft lurk behind the tracing of a smile

Self-contemplation ought display the hushed façade of guile

While quiv’ring hand and timid step by age and time impaired

Mask vestiges of dignity God graciously has spared.

 

HEROES ( 2013 ) 2013/04/21

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 12:15 am
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There are times the sadness of this life is overbearing

While our days are spent without the hope of ever sharing

Such a painful thought of never truly comprehending

Why and if there is to be a simpler happy ending.

Those cherished values scorned by raving heretics amused

Hold faithful to a code that waits discarded and abused.

 

These unsung heroes thus having forged our destiny

Awaken from the sleep that took them to eternity

Engaging in a task so powerful it never ceases

Leaving us employed in scooping up the tattered pieces.

Waves of all the talents that marked our yesterdays

By those who earned the right to claim a share of glory’s praise,

“ Fidelity” a word once hopeless lost among the rules

Now challenged by this useless cadre of important fools !

 

LIFE’S CHALLENGE ( 2005 ) 2013/04/17


 

When a flower drops its petals

and its seeds are blown away

And its dry stalks tremble, break

to drop and lie amidst decay,

When a tall tree bends its wide limbs

and its leaves are swept away

Seeking safe and sheltered haven

hence await another day,

When a dream still waits unbidden

as the years have caused delay

And the hopes that fill a young mind

through the years have gone astray

When a heart that’s old and mellow

beats its last and sad farewell

Searching for the final hospice

where the soul at peace may dwell,

When the aims of every lifetime

falter, tarry and dispel

Knowing soon the battle’s over

and its goals have too short fell,

There among these winter feelings

where the hurt will rise and swell,

Face that fleeting day of anger,

sally forth and chance rebel.

 

CHILDHOOD ( 1976 ) 2013/04/16


 

Poor old teddy bear, waiting tired and time-worn

Reminding me of many nights spent too forlorn,

We have seen better days when your soft coat was new

And all the dreams we dared to dream seemed overdue.

I put away my childhood toys as I grew old

Because I’d sought the happiness that futures hold.

While childish hopes are based upon small simple things

They fade into the lonely past that growing brings.

Sometimes I wish, with all my heart, I could recall

That yesteryear, so long ago, when I was small.

There’s a precious amount of brief security

In loving a teddy bear who loves only me.

 

SEARCHING ( 1952 )


Lemon balm and lavender, amaryllis green

All the scents a garden holds, vibrant though unseen

Tansy tall and spearmint bright spend their perfumes gay

While violets and lilies white do their incense spray

Midst this tangled rooting mass lies a seed unborn

That may blossom forth one day into times forlorn.

 

Tiny mums, petunias bold nestle side by side

Laughing bells with nodding heads do their mirth confide,

Watch the painted daisy bow with a grace serene,

Spreads the creeping myrtle discreetly in-between,

How this sight does profit me as I chance intrude

Like some stranger in a trance, arrogant and rude.

 

In a field of thornbush one lonely primrose grew

Pledging soon that I’d forget that long wait I knew,

I trace again those times that quickly flew too fast

While roses by a fence remind me of the past,

Alas my life slips by too soon its season ends

And I am left behind to grieve the loss of friends.

 

A flower ends its life in quiet simple ways

Enriched by nature’s cool and passionless displays,

The years may come and go as petals fade and die

But in the life of man this fading means goodbye,

Reaching the final circumstance wherein resides

The blending of that time when none but truth presides.

 

Sunlight in a garden though seeming ever bright

Fades into a sunset where flowers sleep at night

Fulfillment of happenings that I dare not know,

Like shadows of sentiment those I scarce can show

Reminds me that a man though born of God’s intent

Fades into the darkness before his life is spent.

 

I’ve walked among the shadows, whistled in the rain

Faced the bloody mountain and shivered with the pain

I’ve questioned valid reason and read books untold

Searching for an answer about what life might hold,

Yet always in my mind that field of flowers glows

Can I trust one promise beyond what nature grows?

 

FRIENDS ( 1983 ) 2013/04/13


Above the roof and chimney rise

I tend my garden in the skies,

I sleep with stars and wake with sun

Until my way in life is done.

I weep with mist and cry with rain

And live with hope that mellows pain.

I pay my way and now have learned

To value all the friends I’ve earned.

Build me no castle, sing no song

Carry no ill though hurt is strong.

When I’m old and youth’s spark is gone

Walk close beside me here and yon.

Leave me no paths that I must choose

Will me no fortune I may lose.

Unkempt and fledgling is my cure

That wanders oft with faith secure.

I’ve shaped my goals that they may fit

Into a mold with pride on it.

 

I’m bound to earth by God’s own will

With courage breathing hushed and still.

When to the trembling brink I’m tossed

And wisdom flees, appearing lost

I thank my God on bended knee

That love thus far has sheltered me.

 

PRIVILEGE OF AGE ( 2006 )

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 6:19 pm
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Sometimes when I am at my ease

A simple odor treads the breeze

And from the past some mem’ry brought

Across my mind in homely thought

That waits upon those childhood days

Where knowledge grows and friendship strays.

I’m not so sure that as I’ve grown

My youthful fears have all but flown,

However names I can’t recall

Will ever plague my portrait wall

And recollections I connote

May brim my eye or catch my throat.

 

And if I choose to chance forget

Some dream that’s had no ending yet,

One face that lingers on may cling

To fragile moments spread with spring,

Now bearing neither ache nor rage

Becomes the privilege of age.

 

INSIDE THE GARDEN GATE ( 1986 ) 2013/04/12

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 2:13 am
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There’s a special place that I now recall

Both secret and safe in a garden wall,

Far my favorite space when I was small

Was that wooden gate in the garden wall.

And there beneath that garden way

One million tears were washed away

And drained themselves into the ground

To gain the solace I have found.

When I’ve spied a spot with a hidden door

That may lead to the rest I’m reaching for,

The sight of a hedge by a garden gate

Is the knowledge that mellows oft too late.

 

One entrance in a crumbling wall

Was childhood’s fancy to recall

While shadows cast upon the ground

Did guard the peace that patience found.

The permanence I ‘d felt inside that gate

Where no words alone could ever relate

In the simple fare of my life would be

Like an endless rope of eternity.

I’ve often thought as I recalled

The lonely times when I was small,

I’d lift my wings and follow play

And swing my early cares away.

 

Ten thousand timeless heads bobbed in the breeze

And shook in the wind and laughed in the trees,

Amidst delphiniums all blue and pink

I’d wait for that sun to just rise or sink

To seek what hides past that garden wall

Where hollyhocks grew so bright and tall,

There beyond the pulse of nature’s lush

Life slumbered deep in a twilight’s hush.

There’s many a gate in many a wall

That has been childhood’s option to recall

When time’s swift shadow played hide and seek

My simple fears had some courage to speak.

 

Full many a turn has come about

Since those youthful years pursued by doubt

Where the wishing days of life would be

Bound to each one’s goal with piety.

Now much time has flown and it’s far too late

To play in the yard and swing on the gate,

For the wall is gone and there in its place

Structures of brick with no smiles on their face.

Portals of magic beckon still

With aspirations dreams fulfill,

The useful aim of one’s end should be

Some gate that waits for posterity.

 

GOOD-BYE,LOVE ( 1955 ) 2013/02/20

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 6:18 pm
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To need that love denied one now, so very much

Seeking the soft tenderness of that gentle touch

Caressing hands, the warming thrill of each embrace

Sweet memory hapless time refuses to erase

Now seeming gone, silent with fleetest wings away.

When was this time can it be only yesterday?

A yesterday fraught with shadows of this nightmare

That carried swift its agony of bleak despair,

Despairing love that weeps alone, the lonely years forget

And whisper wind of lovers’ trembling heart sad with regret,

Regretting dreams that only verge upon reality

Like fantasy that cannot mask its own finality.

 

RETROSPECT ( 1974 )

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 6:02 pm
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Laughing lovers, holding hands, caressing,

Sharing dreams, mutual care expressing,

Youth and love hand in hand, walk beside me.

If love was dealt to me unkindly

Such a time remembering days long gone,

Left to build but faded memory upon.

Viewing you, aware of the weak façade

That veiled my own encountered brief charade.

 

Tender lovers, fear that insecurity possess,

Weeping dreamers, sobbing silently in sad distress,

Affairs that end when youth elusively has passed

Leaving us alone, reconciling shattered vows last,

Clasping hands, touching hearts, in time aging fears deny

Whispered promises, tomorrow’s heartache bid love goodbye.

 

EPITAPH ( 1961 ) 2013/02/14

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 3:54 pm
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In our small town so long ago, a rose dwelt, we presume

She was her father’s pride and joy it says so on her tomb.

When other lesser buds were bursting and had spread their bloom

Her radiance remained to blossom and to fill each room.

 

Abundant suitors came to pluck this rose fore it full grew

They flocked about as bees that buzz to suckle and to woo.

“ My primrose young pay them no mind,” indeed papa, he knew

That age must pay with vapid tears, for youth that reckless flew.

 

As years passed swiftly autumn took the color from her cheek,

Papa grew old to wander in delusions of the weak.

At length her safety preyed upon his mind and thus he’d speak,

“ Take care my child, this world endows that which devours the meek.”

 

Now many a young buck had come to sup and dance and wine,

While many a shy lad could only pass and glance and pine.

This wilting flower stood alone there withered on the vine

For one last heartsick boy to beg anew, “ Wilt thou be mine? ”

 

Papa, he died and left her with no love to be consoled,

Her prime had done, her virtue cherished and now worn like gold.

One final suitor dared to step into her life so bold

With courage strong just ere that gentle bud had grown too cold

 

He sought her hand, alas, she could not love him though she knew,

Her father’s words there echoed in her mind with force rung true.

She turned away that lonesome lad with wistful weeping rue,

He came no more he traveled on his way to pastures new.

 

This tender timid rose left clinging to youth’s lost sunshine

Some lonely fragment that was plucked not from its slow decline.

False caution willed that heart to linger ever on old vine

Where sense and fear were elements necessity combined.

 

PATTERNS ( 1980 ) 2013/02/13

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 3:44 pm
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Castles in Spain fly on wings of a dream

Idle thoughts nought more than dulled reckless gleam,

Faint glimmer of hope one desire long inbred,

Time moulds each man’s dream into one fragile thread,

To leave but shadows of what he’d hoped to be

Like echoes of the words he wished he’d said.

Is this all that I am or will ever be

In patient pattern flowing until one drifts dead,

Ne’ermore to know the flight of the dream forlorn,

That dream  shining bright waits wasted and worn.

 

The fabric of life ’bout us vaguely closes

And weaving its web chains in cadence imposes,

While years swiftly flee as passionless dawn,

That heart which in hope  covets distant land,

Takes time to kindly glimpse the days long gone

When chance was his to leave or to command.

These years of mem’ry  like those past cloud worn

Instill not the fear but the value scorn,

The face of reality makes dream fantasy

While far castles in Spain mark man’s sad heresy.

 

ALISON ( 1977 )

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 3:16 pm
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I loved you, Alison, daughter I never had,

Little bird with timorous wings trying to soar

Above life’s clamor and din, mediocre and sad,

Like a lion at bay, as it whimpers a roar

Far too regal to run yet too timid to fight,

A babe thrust from her nest by adversity’s quirk,

Yet she stood like a queen never taking to flight.

How I envied her strength and the way her mind worked

And I loved her like a child I wished had been mine,

She stole my heart yet never understood the why,

But a wildflower to a cage one can’t confine,

Neither chain hearts or wings, hummingbird homeward fly.

See the pluck of that heart and the length of her limbs,

Flee now from the wind and consuming storm that stirs

To devour the sweet soul that breathed curious whims,

Shattered hopes, scattered dreams, the world could have been hers

And through her tender tears she wove her magic spell,

Her good-bye, whispered soft, bore majestic disdain,

Sweet child of my heart now gone I pray you fare well,

Lose not that bright spirit soon we’ll meet once again.