Claire V. Bogdanos

POEMS….THOUGHTS…..MEMORIES

AGING ( 2005 ) 2013/04/12

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 2:16 pm
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I’ve lately learned to live within the prison of my mind

That bars an entrance to some foolish pleasures I may find.

Here functions stalwart guardian deflecting thoughts intense

Erecting varied walls that strive to work for my defense,

Like a thousand rolling caissons exploding on a hill

Destroying all the silence that blankets my calm and still,

( Thunder shouting with an angry roar, one horrendous sight

Enlarging on the flimsy grasp of my tenacious plight.)

And now I do begin to understand that within me

Abides a force beyond control that shapes my destiny.

 

Where I have been before, that I remember clearly now

Vague and familiar paths that I have trod with time endowed,

While waning aspirations in discretion plainly sealed,

With wanting knew defeat but in forgetting, rapid healed?

I’ve sped to numerous places and never more alone

Than when I covered all those miles that had persistent grown

For man’s not free as a bird whose wings and heart do follow

The jaded pattern of the past like consistent swallow,

A humble place that rested within sight of waking eye

To leave no lasting memory when only passing by.

 

However haunting be the thought that we’ve already seen

The best and worst life offers us with simple space  between,

The aging heart knows sorrow that dwells with repetition

Harboring unruly thoughts that border on sedition.

The push and the pull of necessity which pursues me

And fills the trembling hours with boundless days that restless be

To wonder if some reason can be found ere I depart

Or  am I forced to exist with never another start?

This lonely hope, once awakened, here cradles discontent

Of years and times that shallow youth, with wasted aim misspent.

 

I comprehend that life drones on though all excitement’s flown

And wallows in contentments small that from resentment’s grown.

Perhaps then ‘tis wiser rejecting goals that reach too high,

Discarding dreams still searching for a rainbow in each sky,

The result of aging, which begins with maturity

Is a final wisdom that concludes in obscurity.

 

INSIDE THE GARDEN GATE ( 1986 )

Filed under: POEMS.....THOUGHTS.....MEMORIES — bogdanosclaire @ 2:13 am
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There’s a special place that I now recall

Both secret and safe in a garden wall,

Far my favorite space when I was small

Was that wooden gate in the garden wall.

And there beneath that garden way

One million tears were washed away

And drained themselves into the ground

To gain the solace I have found.

When I’ve spied a spot with a hidden door

That may lead to the rest I’m reaching for,

The sight of a hedge by a garden gate

Is the knowledge that mellows oft too late.

 

One entrance in a crumbling wall

Was childhood’s fancy to recall

While shadows cast upon the ground

Did guard the peace that patience found.

The permanence I ‘d felt inside that gate

Where no words alone could ever relate

In the simple fare of my life would be

Like an endless rope of eternity.

I’ve often thought as I recalled

The lonely times when I was small,

I’d lift my wings and follow play

And swing my early cares away.

 

Ten thousand timeless heads bobbed in the breeze

And shook in the wind and laughed in the trees,

Amidst delphiniums all blue and pink

I’d wait for that sun to just rise or sink

To seek what hides past that garden wall

Where hollyhocks grew so bright and tall,

There beyond the pulse of nature’s lush

Life slumbered deep in a twilight’s hush.

There’s many a gate in many a wall

That has been childhood’s option to recall

When time’s swift shadow played hide and seek

My simple fears had some courage to speak.

 

Full many a turn has come about

Since those youthful years pursued by doubt

Where the wishing days of life would be

Bound to each one’s goal with piety.

Now much time has flown and it’s far too late

To play in the yard and swing on the gate,

For the wall is gone and there in its place

Structures of brick with no smiles on their face.

Portals of magic beckon still

With aspirations dreams fulfill,

The useful aim of one’s end should be

Some gate that waits for posterity.

 

 
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