I’ve lately learned to live within the prison of my mind
That bars an entrance to some foolish pleasures I may find.
Here functions stalwart guardian deflecting thoughts intense
Erecting varied walls that strive to work for my defense,
Like a thousand rolling caissons exploding on a hill
Destroying all the silence that blankets my calm and still,
( Thunder shouting with an angry roar, one horrendous sight
Enlarging on the flimsy grasp of my tenacious plight.)
And now I do begin to understand that within me
Abides a force beyond control that shapes my destiny.
Where I have been before, that I remember clearly now
Vague and familiar paths that I have trod with time endowed,
While waning aspirations in discretion plainly sealed,
With wanting knew defeat but in forgetting, rapid healed?
I’ve sped to numerous places and never more alone
Than when I covered all those miles that had persistent grown
For man’s not free as a bird whose wings and heart do follow
The jaded pattern of the past like consistent swallow,
A humble place that rested within sight of waking eye
To leave no lasting memory when only passing by.
However haunting be the thought that we’ve already seen
The best and worst life offers us with simple space between,
The aging heart knows sorrow that dwells with repetition
Harboring unruly thoughts that border on sedition.
The push and the pull of necessity which pursues me
And fills the trembling hours with boundless days that restless be
To wonder if some reason can be found ere I depart
Or am I forced to exist with never another start?
This lonely hope, once awakened, here cradles discontent
Of years and times that shallow youth, with wasted aim misspent.
I comprehend that life drones on though all excitement’s flown
And wallows in contentments small that from resentment’s grown.
Perhaps then ‘tis wiser rejecting goals that reach too high,
Discarding dreams still searching for a rainbow in each sky,
The result of aging, which begins with maturity
Is a final wisdom that concludes in obscurity.